Why do most men not want to date a full figured woman?

22 08 2009

Lately, I’ve seen several threads on OKCupid’s forums asking why fat girls get little attention from guys. In each case, the original poster seems delusional about what’s going on and is looking for others to help them maintain their illusions.

In a thread titled “Why do most men not want to date a full figured woman?“, hornz102485 writes:

Why is it that men seem to be turned off when the term “full figured” is brought up? I am not lazy or a slob and yet when men see me they assume I am since I am overweight. I have tried countless diets and exercise to lose some weight, but nothing seems to help. I don’t need anyone commenting and being rude. I just want to know why men look and turn away. I am attractive and have alot to offer.

First, full-figured is a euphemism for fat and if men are turned off by the term, it’s because they know what it really means. Men are not turned on or off by words. Most of us are attracted to women and for many, that just doesn’t include fat women. We really don’t give a shit about why you’re fat or how hard you’ve tried not to be. It doesn’t matter. What matters is whether or not your appearance gives us wood. When Hornz says she doesn’t want anyone being rude, she means that she doesn’t want anyone being honest. Her insisting that she’s attractive certainly does not make it so.

If you look at her profile, you’ll see that in addition to looking somewhat like an ogre, this young woman has 1 kid, makes less than $30,000/year, dreams of meeting her prince, and can’t quite count to six.

iamjareth responds:

According to the poll in the other thread, most men DO prefer full-figured women. And so far on this one as well. Maybe they just won’t admit it. Or maybe as others have noted, it’s something else. Regardless of the “imperfection” in a man or woman, the imperfection is rarely the problem so much as having a hang up about it.

If any poll shows men preferring full-figured women, I guarantee most of the respondents were imagining actual full-figured women like Marylin Monroe or Laetitia Casta, not big tubs of goo. Either that or they’re full of shit. Then he has to lie to her about people (as if attraction works the same for men and women) having hang-ups. “No ma’am, it’s not that your body repulses me. It’s just that I have a hang-up about repulsive bodies.” Whatever.

geekadmirer says:

There are men who prefer big women to thinner women so you don’t have to worry.

Is this a joke? Yes, there are chubby-chasers out there, but not nearly in sufficient numbers to satisfy the massive hordes of massive women in existence today.

After my honest response to the thread, Hornz came back with this:

Wow, some very rude ignorant a**holes out there. I don’t care how you view me. I can only be me. However, I don’t look at a big guy and get grossed out, nor do I look at a thin man like that. I don’t think that men are ugly just cuz they are heavy. I guess there are just some really shallow people out there.

What is this tit-for-tat thing she does here? You’re not grossed out by fat guys, therefore it’s a character flaw on my part if I’m grossed out by you? I get annoyed at people who ask questions only to lash out when people actually try to answer them.

AbApt24 chimes in making excuses for not digging chubby chicks:

Why is being chubby or obese unattractive? Because the impression is you don’t take care of yourself, and no matter what you say you can’t convince us otherwise. I mean it works both ways, girls don’t like fat guys either.

No, being chubby or obese is unattractive because it’s unattractive, the same way being a tree is unattractive to humans. It may work both ways to some extent, but don’t pretend it’s the same.

The thread then turns full retard with a post by myrddwn, a man in a polyamorous relationship with a rather large woman:

Most people, men included, can not overcome their cultural programing.  Right now, our society views skinny as attractive.  Look around at the intelligence of the people bashing fatties here, and you can plainly see that its the dumb, ignorant hicks that want skinny bitches.  They dont know any better.  They also want big trucks, big screen TV’s, the latest cell phone, because advertisers tell them to want that stuff, and think if they have these things, they will be cool, or happy, or something. So what if most men dont want you, chances are, you dont want them.  Superficial ‘tards anyway.

Does anything need to be said?

Moving on…

In “Why do average-full figured women get overlooked???“, sabrinalee2010 writes:

I am not overly “full figured” but I have my curves and I love them, I am a proud size 14, which if you do your research is the average healthy size for a female in the united states…I am healthy, I jog and I eat right….but what [floors] me is the guys today overlooking a size 14 or 16 woman for a girl that is a 00…why??? It’s not like a persons size makes them more or less capable of loving you. I think people today get too focused on what a girl looks like in a bikini and what the public sees as “beautiful” when a beautiful person should be someone that loves themselves and others….

First off, full-figured is a euphamism for fat, although this girl really isn’t all that big. Here again she’s looking to blame what men are attracted to on society. That, and there’s this constant need for these bigger girls to pretend that the only alternative to their heft is 5-year-meth-addict skinny. Fat women, you’re problem is not that you aren’t shaped like a runway model; it’s that you are shaped like a panda bear. There are a lot of women who resemble neither and plenty of men who find them attractive.

The responses start out fun and light-hearted until Tru24m jumps in with:

The disrespect to larger women stems from the insecure little boys who are so self concious about themselves that they don’t dare admit that they find anyone attractive who isn’t the socially accepted size zero.  For whatever reason twiggy women are held on some crazy undeserved pedistal, even when they’re actually ugly as sin.  I fail to see how ribs and pencil sharp hip bones poking out at unnatural angles is sexy, but society says it is, therefore it has to be.

Did someone ask about respect? No, the original question is about guys picking thin girls over thick girls for mating purposes. Tru24m, if you’re attracted to women that other men avoid, there’s absolutely nothing to be upset about. Clearly, you should be happy about this.


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8 responses

31 08 2009
Joe

Delightfully roissyesque!

“No ma’am, it’s not that your body repulses me. It’s just that I have a hang-up about repulsive bodies.”

My favorite part.

myrddwn was such a loser. Beta of the month candidate?

31 08 2009
Joe

oh, he’s the kind of poly with two chicks. never mind, not beta of the month. I was thinking two dudes sharing one fatty.

31 08 2009
canadian52

Maybe it’s because of the same reason that women don’t like to date guys that are skinnier than them. It may be emasculating for a man to date someone who is bigger. Just a guess. Here is a list of things that men want that I would like to share with you. Would love your opinion. http://kenbesseder.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/the-rules-we-are-still-back-in-high-school/

1 09 2009
unfrozencaveman

I’m NOT into girls that are bigger, as in taller, I suppose for that reason, but this post is about fatties.

I think it looks weird when a girl is taller than her boyfriend.

EDIT: the word in bold

18 09 2009
Bill Bartmann

Excellent site, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,

A definite great read.. :)

-Bill-Bartmann

9 03 2010
Ken Besseder

I am not attracted to larger women and yet I am stocky. I was just let go by a woman I loved who said she couldn’t get past my body; she had only dated skinny men. Who am I to blow against the wind: I have only dated slimmer women. What a paradox.

11 06 2013
Dee

I do have to say this is a very interesting article. I have gone through some stuff in my life and I went from a size 8-10 to a 14. It might sound silly and all but i have realised that i have to be confident and happy in my own skin no matter what size and accept that not everyone is going to find me attractive. Now i am in my mid 20’s and i know i am not an ugly woman or what you would consider fat but i do have curves as in ass and boobs and a small waist believe it or not. I have just been wondering what guys really think about when it comes to girls with my body type and not a girl that is say size 20.

3 09 2013
randyblackladbrad1953

I’m just not into fat chicks!!!!!!

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