I Love the Following Things

16 12 2009

1. Women – There is nothing more exciting in life than an attractive and interesting woman who likes me. I’m addicted. They come in a variety of colors and flavors.

2. Chipotle – I’m talking about the burrito chain, not the sauce. In fact, I don’t really like chipotle sauce, but the place that shares the name is amazing. I could live a long happy life if I could eat nothing but their burritos. I order mine like so: Barbacoa, rice, black beans, double hot, sour cream and cheese. Before Chipotle came along, the only place I ever had a burrito like this was in California and they were never quite this good. Men’s Health gives them a hard time for the size of their portions being so large. Well, fuck Men’s Health. They’re fucking stupid. This chain uses the best quality ingredients and their massive portions mean I can go many many hours before I need to eat a candy bar or some other horrible thing.

3. Lamb of God – This is probably my favorite band. They only seem to get better with time, although I wasn’t hugely familiar with them before Sacrament came out in 2006.

This is the first song I ever heard from them:

The my new favorite LoG song is Choke Sermon. There’s no video for it, but you can hear it on their myspace page. The chorus riff is fucking amazing. They’ve been criticized for making new songs that sound just like their old songs, but I think this song really got to me precisely because it reminds me of stuff I already like.

4. IceHouse – At about 18, I didn’t enjoy the taste of beer all that much, but “ice” beers went down pretty smooth. Now, I enjoy beer and Icehouse is the one cheap beer that I actually like. Sadly, the Walgreens I used to buy it from stopped carrying it.

5. Cab 281 – As a poor person who has to drink beer, I sometimes drive a taxi cab to supplement my regular income. I like driving around in former police car Crown Victorias, but they don’t always ride that well after 250,000 miles or so. Cab 281 shows 170,000, but it handles like a sports car. It’s the most impressive cab I ever drove and one of the most impressive cars I’ve ever driven, which probably isn’t saying all that much. I would happily drive this car every day.

6. The Internet – I like the internet in general, but I’m really talking about shit like this.

7. Gorjira – This is my other favorite band. They manage to tie grindcore to groove in a way that more than makes sense. Their songs get in my head like no other bands’. There are tons of metal bands out there these days, and almost nobody listens to any of them. Many are very good, but they’re mostly copies of each other. Gojira stands out. Very coherent. They manage to sound very original without being weird.

Click the video and read the comments to see how alone I’m not.

8. Carne Asada Fries – You can get these from Filiberto’s, Riva’s, and most other drive-thru burrito shops the Phoenix area, probably anywhere in the Southwestern US. It’s French fries, with a ton (ok, not a ton, but easily a pound) of Carne Asada, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and as much red hot sauce as you care for. It makes a great lunch, but it’s absolutely mind-blowing as a drunken 4th meal. Please don’t tell the queers at Men’s Health about this.

9. Mad Men – This is the best show on TV, and you’re lame for not watching it.

10. Xbox 360’s controller – Far superior to the PS3 controller.

Fucking Italians

13 12 2009

There’s some new reality show on MTV called “Jersey Shore”, where they follow around a bunch of young spoiled “guidos” and “guidettes” who like to party or something. I don’t know. I haven’t seen and probably never will. Anyway, the show is getting heat from Italian-American organizations for promoting the negative stereotypes of Italians. Hell, the show is probably creating all new stereotypes in the minds of viewers, but ya know… IT’S NOT FICTION! Nobody wrote this shit! these are actual douchebags and sluts who probably didn’t behave much differently before assholes with cameras started following them around. Is MTV supposed to cancel the show to prevent white America from learning more a small group of slightly less white* American brats?

guido hits guidette

The girl is part of the show and MTV used this clip in a Promo for the show. That’s what really got the crybabies all angry. But, once again, it happened for real. The guy was arrested, is facing charges, and was suspended from his job, as a NYC alternative school gym teacher. HA!

From this article in the New York Post:

It’s a low-rent version of “The Sopranos,” said André DiMino, president of the Italian-America service organization, UNICO.

” ‘The Sopranos’ are at one end of the spectrum, the Mafioso, and then this is the other — bimbos and buffoons. This is how we’re being portrayed,” he said yesterday.

“It’s worse than I could have ever imagined, the lowest form of stereotyping you can ever see.”

I thought these people were stupid when they were crying about The Sopranos, as the show was modeled after the actual existing Italian American crime families that operate on the East coast. How realistic it was is hard for me to know, but now they’re crying about a show that depicts reality, and I want them to die of cancer. The word “portrayal” implies some separation from reality, like a work of fiction. Don’t fall for this idiocy; realize that they’re trying to censor real life.

Some stereotypes are true.

Actually, most of them are.

Black people like fried chicken.

White people like mayonnaise.

Indians (from India) smell.

Irish people are drunks.

Indians (from America) are worse drunks.

Asians are smart.

Jews are thrifty.

Gypsies steal shit.

Russians are morose and age rapidly. They tend to drink, but I think this is more a byproduct of their dark mood than genetic predisposition to addiction like with the above mentioned drunks.

* – For some folks, “white” refers specifically to Anglos, and Italians are sometimes seen as a minority, especially by those oh-so-many Italian-American organizations.

see also: http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/78584622.html?cmpid=15585797

I need to write more

1 12 2009

I keep starting blog entries without finishing them. I’ve become concerned about the quality of my writings, after re-reading some of the old ones. Years of arguing on short-attention-spanned internet forums has caused me to overemphasize brevity. Once upon a time, I would write wordy time-consuming thought-out responses only to find that few ever seemed to read them. The conversation would continue as if I’d said nothing. I learned to cut it down, but lately I’ve been overdoing it. I somehow expect other people to be already be on the same page with me in the middle of my thoughts.

Anyway, since I’ve noticed this, I’ve been much more concerned about quality. This concern combined with my laziness is keeping me from finishing anything.