1. Women – There is nothing more exciting in life than an attractive and interesting woman who likes me. I’m addicted. They come in a variety of colors and flavors.
2. Chipotle – I’m talking about the burrito chain, not the sauce. In fact, I don’t really like chipotle sauce, but the place that shares the name is amazing. I could live a long happy life if I could eat nothing but their burritos. I order mine like so: Barbacoa, rice, black beans, double hot, sour cream and cheese. Before Chipotle came along, the only place I ever had a burrito like this was in California and they were never quite this good. Men’s Health gives them a hard time for the size of their portions being so large. Well, fuck Men’s Health. They’re fucking stupid. This chain uses the best quality ingredients and their massive portions mean I can go many many hours before I need to eat a candy bar or some other horrible thing.
3. Lamb of God – This is probably my favorite band. They only seem to get better with time, although I wasn’t hugely familiar with them before Sacrament came out in 2006.
This is the first song I ever heard from them:
The my new favorite LoG song is Choke Sermon. There’s no video for it, but you can hear it on their myspace page. The chorus riff is fucking amazing. They’ve been criticized for making new songs that sound just like their old songs, but I think this song really got to me precisely because it reminds me of stuff I already like.
4. IceHouse – At about 18, I didn’t enjoy the taste of beer all that much, but “ice” beers went down pretty smooth. Now, I enjoy beer and Icehouse is the one cheap beer that I actually like. Sadly, the Walgreens I used to buy it from stopped carrying it.
5. Cab 281 – As a poor person who has to drink beer, I sometimes drive a taxi cab to supplement my regular income. I like driving around in former police car Crown Victorias, but they don’t always ride that well after 250,000 miles or so. Cab 281 shows 170,000, but it handles like a sports car. It’s the most impressive cab I ever drove and one of the most impressive cars I’ve ever driven, which probably isn’t saying all that much. I would happily drive this car every day.
6. The Internet – I like the internet in general, but I’m really talking about shit like this.
7. Gorjira – This is my other favorite band. They manage to tie grindcore to groove in a way that more than makes sense. Their songs get in my head like no other bands’. There are tons of metal bands out there these days, and almost nobody listens to any of them. Many are very good, but they’re mostly copies of each other. Gojira stands out. Very coherent. They manage to sound very original without being weird.
Click the video and read the comments to see how alone I’m not.
8. Carne Asada Fries – You can get these from Filiberto’s, Riva’s, and most other drive-thru burrito shops the Phoenix area, probably anywhere in the Southwestern US. It’s French fries, with a ton (ok, not a ton, but easily a pound) of Carne Asada, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and as much red hot sauce as you care for. It makes a great lunch, but it’s absolutely mind-blowing as a drunken 4th meal. Please don’t tell the queers at Men’s Health about this.
9. Mad Men – This is the best show on TV, and you’re lame for not watching it.
10. Xbox 360’s controller – Far superior to the PS3 controller.