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15 responses

7 02 2010
Snark

Wise words indeed!

7 02 2010
kidojo

I’m not a fan of activism in general. I feel that any person, group, whatever that is hardcore pro/against anything tends to feed whatever the problem is that they wish to irradicate (erraticate? too lazy to spell check).
I especially hate feminism. It’s fucking retarded and gives women a bad name. I think these groups of pachouli drenched beastly armpitted women with low self esteem should take a bath, put on some lipstick, shave, and find a hard willing penis to stick in their cooters so that they might feel a little bit better about themselves and shut up.

12 02 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

Wow. Several things here from the *F* word:

The current school of thought is considered the third wave of feminism. This wave began in the 80’s and focuses on the intersectionality of social experiences.

Why are women sluts and whores but not men? Men can be, of course, but the labels are not generally there.

Last (and most importantly), I think you may be missing part of the point. It is not that motherhood is not important enough for a woman to feel significant, it is that she have a choice. Women can be in the workplace and/or at home with their children, but they don’t HAVE to be one or the other. If a woman wants to be a stay at home mother, more power to her. But she should CHOOSE to be.

15 02 2010
Snark

“The current school of thought is considered the third wave of feminism. This wave began in the 80’s and focuses on the intersectionality of social experiences.”

Actually, it’s about feminists finding new ways to present themselves as victims. It’s just the same old feminism running out of steam and going to crazy new lengths to keep itself relevant.

“Why are women sluts and whores but not men? Men can be, of course, but the labels are not generally there.”

This has been discussed so many times I get tired of it. It takes a lot of effort to be a stud. That’s why there’s a huge market for Game literature. It’s not easy. It’s an accomplishment.

Whereas all a woman has to do to sleep with a lot of people is comply. She doesn’t have to be active in this pursuit what-so-ever.

“It is not that motherhood is not important enough for a woman to feel significant, it is that she have a choice.”

Yes, it’s all about choices – for women. And obligations for men. It’s all about enabling women to do whatever they damn well please, never having to learn that actions have consequences. Guess who has to pick up the slack for those consequences? Figure that out and you’ll realise why there are so many assholes like myself taking issue with your morally depraved, outdated and hypocritical ideology.

15 02 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

“Yes, it’s all about choices – for women. And obligations for men. It’s all about enabling women to do whatever they damn well please, never having to learn that actions have consequences. Guess who has to pick up the slack for those consequences? Figure that out and you’ll realise why there are so many assholes like myself taking issue with your morally depraved, outdated and hypocritical ideology.”

Actually Snark, I agree (sort of). Men should have the same choices that women have. I’m not sure how much research into feminism you have done, but there is a Masculinity theorist by the name of Michael Kimmel who argues (and I agree) that the gender boxes placed on men are more constrictive than those placed on women and, as a resul,t men are often unable to be themselves because of forced masculinity.

I don’t think you are an asshole simply for having a different opinion. Scholarly discourse is not acheived by finding people with whom you agree. On the contrary, I think we learn more about how to advance not just women, but all of humanity by examining all viewpoints.

Thank you for the feedback!

15 02 2010
Snark

D. Lynn Thompson,

I am not familiar with Michael Kimmel, but from that snippet you provided, I have to say that I couldn’t disagree with him more!

While I agree that – particularly in this day and age – social roles constrict men rather more than women, I don’t believe this has anything to do with forced masculinity. I have seen this viewpoint articulated elsewhere, and I can’t connect it to reality. If anything, I would say that men are currently suffering from a dearth of positive male role models and enforced androgyny. Masculinity, of course, does not mean being violent to your wife, etc. It never did. But it’s been vilified as such, and now men are afraid of punishment should they attempt to be masculine at all.

I believe that the examples of violence against women that we do see are, for the most part, isolated ‘freakouts’ that come as the end result of not being allowed to reconcile one’s inner self with one’s social role, the former having been demonised.

I don’t like to use the word ‘gender’. It’s been dirtied by radical feminists.

I noticed a couple of comments on my blog from you today. Usually, feminists come at me guns blazing (hence my original response to you here), and I block their comments. But since you’ve been respectful (and more importantly, not a misandrist), you’re welcome there any time.

15 02 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

I prefer “gender”, but try not to dirty it.

While I wouldn’t agree with your “freakouts” per say, I do understand your point. Violence most commonly is associated with the need to gain power. If men perceive (correctly or incorrectly) that their power is being challenged or removed, then it is a possibility that power loss may result in violence against the person(s) taking that power.

16 02 2010
Snark

Hmmm … I see where you are going with that …

But I don’t think the men who turn to violence actually articulate it in that way. Even those who are cognizant of feminism’s destructive effects: they personalise, not politicise, those effects. E.g. there have been no serial killers acting on behalf of the Men’s Movement, and it’s pretty unlikely that there ever will be. People like Marc Lepine, etc., saw things only in personal terms: and judging by their writings, did not perceive it in terms of losing power, as such …

When I hear this argument – that ‘men’ are losing power and reacting violently – I always think that those men who react violently have not articulated it like this. The implication of the argument is that ‘men’ are acting collectively in response to the loss of their collective power. Not so. It is the case that individual men are acting alone in response to perceived individual loss. George Sodini thought he was all alone in the world and that no other man was going through sexual deprivation. He didn’t see things in terms of the power of social groups.

16 02 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

I completely agree. I don’t think they articulate it, but I still think it is part of the cause. Few people realize that they internalize society to such a degree.

11 03 2010
Deansdale

“Violence most commonly is associated with the need to gain power.”
What f*cking BS. It’s the typical pseudo-psycho-babble of those who have a hidden agenda.
Dear Lynn Thompson, have you ever been violent? You know, slapping a boyfriend in the face or something like that? It has NOTHING to do with “power”. It’s about losing your temper, alas losing your mind. When you slapped your boyfriend, you did not think about power. You did not think at all I suppose. You just did it out of a sudden fit of rage. And most probably you felt that your violence was “justified”.
Describing fits of rage as “a need to gain power” is rather misleading. To “gain power” sounds like a deliberate, well thought out sinister effort, which typical violence is NOT.

Feminists just keep on playing these mindgames obsessed with “power” which is rather meaningless. They think everything is about “power”, and FOR THEM everything is. The problem is they project their own corrupt power-hungry thinking onto others.

11 03 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

Wow. Bitter?

I have never slapped anyone out of anger, but thanks for projecting your experiences onto me.

I never stated this was a deliberate or sinister reaction. I was using a sociological theory to explain collective behavior. The theory of people becoming societies in miniature as they internalize social structures and changes is not new. Max Weber proposed these ideas in the early 20th century and they carry through to today.

13 03 2010
Snark

I believe it is about power, but not consciously so.

Deansdale is right to suggest that it’s a heat of the moment reaction.

But there are some heat of the moment reactions which are out of bounds, e.g. men are trained to never raise a hand to women – but to accept all kinds of violence from women without complaint.

So, it is about power, because in the heat of the moment, a man’s reflexes are overriden by his training, while a woman’s are not. Ask a violent woman after the fact and she will rationalise that she was entitled to be violent. Because she’s a woman and he’s just a man. Etc. That is “female empowerment” in my book.

13 03 2010
D. Lynn Thompson

Indeed.

3 05 2010
fabooks

Is There a Cure for Masculinity?
By Adam Jukes

• Why is it so hard to get close to a man?
• Why don’t men express emotions except big ones like anger and frustration?
• Why is most perversion male; why is most pornography produced by men for men? Why is risk taking male and drinking, drug taking, gambling and infidelity are predominantly the preserve of men?
• Why is most criminal behavior perpetrated by men? Why is the vast majority of domestic abuse and violence perpetrated by men?
• Why are men so concerned with the size of their penis and its symbolic substitutes – big, powerful cars, status, big houses, big money, and big muscles?
• Why can’t men tolerate vulnerability?
• Why do men lie, don’t listen, don’t do housework, parenting?

The answers to these questions, is the aim of this book. The author asks what it means to be a man, and what part masculinity play in men’s identity. What is it like to have to spend so much time and energy in managing that identity?

Adam Jukes has spent most of his professional life working with troubled and disturbed men, and in 1984 he opened one of the world’s first treatment centers to address men’s abusive and violent behavior towards women, from verbal and emotional abuse through to stalking and murder.

In the following decades that work developed into a clinical examination of masculinity and the author now shares his insights and conclusions with the reader. Juke’s conclusions about what constructs masculinity and how it develops may be unpalatable to some but it is also thought provoking and intriguing to anyone who has an interest in these issues whether professional or personal, male or female, wife or lover, sister or brother, husband or father.

£14.95/$34.50 September 2010 240pp 9781853432095 pb

16 04 2012
Peter

Because none of the above are true?
Statistically speaking any women is 100 times as likely to have killed a child (Abortion) than I am to have tried to kill anyone in or out of the military.
“Why are men so concerned with the size of their penis and its symbolic substitutes – big, powerful cars, status, big houses, big money, and big muscles?”
Because women will sleep with men who have these things?
As Dave Chappelle wisely observed if women would sleep with men who lived in cardboard boxes there wouldn’t be a house in the world.
Women enjoy big money too particularly big money they don’t have to work for.
Penis envy much?(always best to actually read Freud before quoting him).
Just saying
Men lie less than woman by a considerable margin as many studies have shown book for you (LITTLE WHITE LIES, DEEP DARK SECRETS: THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY WOMEN LIE ( St Martins Press, 2008).
But women certainly do more manbashing in print and in their social life.

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