Someone posted an ad for a book that is not yet available as a comment to my Feminism post. It asks a lot of questions the book purportedly answers. It’s called Is There a Cure for Masculinity by Adam Jukes. Going by what I can find on this author, he believes that all men hate women and we do so because we experience some traumatic separation experience with our mothers. I don’t know about all that, and I would like to know what he has to say about evolutionary psychology.
• Why is it so hard to get close to a man?
Is it and for who? When you allow someone to get close you make yourself vulnerable. Men do not like to be vulnerable and women are not attracted to vulnerability. In my experience, letting people get close is almost never worth it.
• Why don’t men express emotions except big ones like anger and frustration?
Why do chicks cry so much? Again, it’s about vulnerability and appearing weak. It’s not really a conscious thing. I don’t not cry on purpose. Also, I think there are many things for which we have no emotional reaction. For example, women react to the news of a pregnancy with emotion, while men consider the logistics of the situation.
• Why is most perversion male; why is most pornography produced by men for men? Why is risk taking male and drinking, drug taking, gambling and infidelity are predominantly the preserve of men?
The answer for most of this is that men have a lot more testosterone. I don’t know what exactly perversion is or why it’s the male’s domain? Women have rape fantasies. Men, not so much. You might call that perversion. Pornography is produced by men because men are motivated by profit, for men because they are turned on by visuals. I see no reason to believe that men are less faithful than women. In fact, the opposite seems more likely. Women are just a lot better at getting away with their cheating. We know that women drink and do drugs. I don’t know if it’s more or less than men, but many of the worst drunks I know are women.
• Why is most criminal behavior perpetrated by men? Why is the vast majority of domestic abuse and violence perpetrated by men?
First, I think men are more likely to have very low intelligence than women, and low intelligence correlates with risk-taking and criminal behavior. Also, it seems to be in our genes to take risks. As parents go, fathers are relatively expendable. Men who are the victims of domestic violence are less likely to report anything to legal authorities, and police are less likely to take them seriously. They are more likely to take matters into their own hands and become the perpetrators (at least in the eye of the law), and they are much less likely to stay in an abusive relationship. Women are far more likely to seek out and stick with abusive mates.
• Why are men so concerned with the size of their penis and its symbolic substitutes – big, powerful cars, status, big houses, big money, and big muscles?
These are all symbols of status, and status is what attracts women and earns the respect of all. Most men are not overly concerned with such things unless they are unsatisfied with their status and their success with women.
• Why can’t men tolerate vulnerability?
We can’t? I really don’t know what he means by that.
• Why do men lie, don’t listen, don’t do housework, parenting?
I hate when women ask why men lie. Men lie to get what they want and avoid what they don’t want. Women do that as well, but they also lie to themselves and each other to regulate their emotions.
I wonder how he answers these questions.