Why are men intimidated by ______ women?

30 06 2010

This is a rewrite from almost a year ago.

Men are not intimidated by strong, powerful, fat, funny, short, tall, bald, shockingly promiscuous, ugly, bitchy, stupid, smart, or mean women. Very often on OKCupid, I see women asking if men are intimidated by [adjective] women, because they simply don’t want to believe that they’re only attractive enough to receive what little attention from men they get. Here, intimidation can be seen as a euphemism for “not attracted to” when the only women that men are routinely intimidated by are the ones that are the most physically attractive, women whose mere sight induces physiological changes in the opposite sex – rise in pulse, blood pressure, hormonal balance, and whatnot. Very few women are intimidating as such.

If there’s any reality to these women’s perspectives, men might not want to get involved with women of higher status. I don’t want to date a woman who earns a lot more money than I do because I know she won’t look up to me. Call this insecurity or whatever, but I just know it won’t work. I also don’t want to date a cop, a lawyer, or anyone with significant political power. There may be something to the smart thing for some men, but not for me. It’s very rare for me to meet anyone who seems smarter to me than I think I am, so I don’t really know. With girls of interest, this has happened exactly once, and I loved it. Very exciting.

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Men’s Rights and Whatnot

20 06 2010

I am not a Men’s Rights Activist and I never will be. I will never be any kind of activist. I don’t really care. I don’t like feminism and all, but I feel like I don’t have much more to say on the matter than what I’ve already said. My feeling is that feminism has done it’s damage and that it’s silly to bother with whatever the hell modern feminists are bitching about at any given moment. It’s good to pay attention when they lobby the legislature/voters, but that’s about it. I’ve thought about going back and digging through what second-wave feminists actually said, and I still might. The point would be to get people to question what is now the status quo, but I don’t know if that would actually work. The thought of being a political activist of any sort fills me with meh. It doesn’t seem to be a very manly pursuit.





Fried Chicken Gristle

13 06 2010

After cutting excess fat from some chicken I was preparing, I thought I might try and fry it up to get some liquid fat with which I might use to fry some other food. As the pieces fried, they began to resemble the white part of bacon, and I thought I might try and eat them. I fried the fat chunks for probably at least 20 minutes, added some Korean dumpling sauce, and at them. Very tasty. I think fat tissue becomes very edible if you cook it longer than it takes to cook the meat its normally attached to. I might try this with steak.





Mencken

12 06 2010

I’m reading Gary Taubes’s Good Calories Bad Calories, which has this gem of a quote from H.L. Mencken:

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem–neat, plausible, and wrong.

Taubes is referring to how ‘everyone’ knows that you should avoid eating fat to lose or avoid gaining weight, and ‘everyone’ is wrong.

This page has many more Mencken quotes. As a blashemous anti-democrat, I liked this:

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

My anti-feminist side likes this:

Misogynist – A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

Why representative democracy sucks:

A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.

I really like this:

The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.

It is incredibly difficult to argue against public policy when I advocate to alternative policy. Sometimes, my vastly superior alternative is to simply do nothing. “The President has to do SOMETHING!” No. No, he doesn’t.

Mencken’s views, more often than not, mirror my own. As a crazy person filled with unpopular ideas, that’s a rare find for me. Few westerners even question the nobility of the institution of democracy. Fewer still conclude that it’s awful, but Mencken did, and so have I. He wrote a bit about women and social dynamics. As someone who didn’t like men voting, he liked women’s suffrage even less. He was alive and writing before, during, and after prohibition, which he didn’t much care for, a movement that largely be blamed on women.

If that’s too politically correct for you, he also managed to say unkind things about Jews and blacks, though he seems to have simultaneously held both admiration and disdain for Jewish people. So, there’s that.





Ass Burgers

8 06 2010

When I was seven or eight years old I recognized that other people’s brains operated differently than mine. I knew I was unusually intelligent, but this was not just a difference of intelligence. It was a mechanical difference (difference in kind versus difference in degree). When I learned of Autism, I felt I was somehow connected. Years later, I learned about Asperger’s syndrome, a mild Autism spectrum disorder. I was married then; my wife read a list of symptoms and instantly concluded that I had it. The main symptoms are social difficulties, such as avoiding eye-contact, or not picking up on non-verbal communication. Others include fascination or obsession with complex topics, and often an above-average aptitude for mechanical and mathematical things. The symptoms are most pronounced in children and diminish into adulthood.

People with Asperger’s are said to lack empathy, but I don’t really agree with this. Sociopaths lack empathy, and aspies are not, as a rule, sociopaths. I think people with AS are more inside themselves and preoccupied with their own world than a typical person. Thus, they care less about what’s going on with other people. Lacking ability to pick up on non-verbal cues, they are often oblivious to other people’s feelings/emotions. However, when they do recognize suffering or realize that they’ve hurt someone they will certainly feel bad about it.

For men, this social inability creates extra difficulty in having relationships with women. I can’t say much about women with AS, because I don’t know of any. In the West, women have developed an expectation that men behave as women when it comes to showing emotion, sharing feelings, and reading minds. The stems from the erroneous belief that men and women are the same. A man with AS is even more different and un-woman-like in this way. In a sense, AS men might be viewed as being extra-masculine. They tend not to be the most successful with women, but social skills (game) can be learned. AS people are difficult to read, and can appear cold, robot-like, emotionally dead, creepy, or mysterious. They may be very shy, but they can also be overly outgoing.

Recently, someone on OKCupid’s Dating Advice forum explained that she had begun seeing an AS guy and was looking for advice. She did not identify any specific problem; she was just looking for general advice. The first person to reply said, “Have you really sunk so low you’re dating retards now?” Later in the thread some expressed skepticism about the disorder. To some, it’s a made up disorder that people use as an excuse for being assholes. Autism is real and appears to result from abnormal brain development. It is not difficult to imagine that this abnormality can vary greatly in severity. Autism is not disease like Down’s syndrome that one either has or doesn’t have.

Once again, I’ve never been diagnosed with AS, and I think it’s very likely that I would not be if I went to specialist. However, every time I read about the disorder, I identify with it. Many of the symptoms are effectively gone, as some of them were basically just delayed development, but I still feel different and have my AS moments. Whenever someone asks me how it’s going or how I’m doing, I want to answer them honestly, but I know I’m supposed to just say “good”, “well”, or respond with a greeting of my own. Still, if I’m in a shitty or normal mood, I feel uncomfortable lying about it. I also know that when I run into people I know, I’m supposed to be happy to see them, but I rarely ever am. People sometimes ask me what’s wrong when nothing is, and once someone asked what I was so happy about when I would swear that I wasn’t. I am normally in a normal mood, not good or bad. It takes a lot to get me excited.

About a week ago, I was sitting at the bar in a near empty place when bartender pointed to one of the TVs. He recognized some video of a motorcycle rider crashing and getting run over by a car. This video was apparently amazing to him and he wanted to share this amazing-ness with the nearest human, which happened to be me. I wasn’t amazed. I smiled, pretending to be impressed, but I’m sure I appeared emotion-less. I disappointed him. It’s a little thing, but these little things happen a lot, particularly with people who I don’t know/like and/or are of limited intelligence. Not laughing at jokes is common. I have a sense of humor, but a lot of shit just isn’t funny.

In the last few years, I’ve taken up drinking. Alcohol makes me feel human. It animates me. When I’m drunk, I actually do get excited to see the same boring people I always see, and people seem to find me much more interesting. Recently, I’ve developed a beer belly and weigh more than ever before. If anyone has any suggestions for a new drug, I’m all ears. Pot is out of the question. It just makes me tired.





Dad! We should get some beer!

5 06 2010

I was grocery shopping once with my 6 year-old son, walking through the beer aisle when he loudly pronounced, “dad! We should get some beer!”, as if we drink beer together. The kid won’t even drink anything carbonated.





Furbies

4 06 2010

Some time ago, I witnessed a conversation between two people I had classified as mentally retarded. These are two grown men with child-like minds. They are both difficult to communicate with because they often fail to understand what others are talking about. When I saw them talking to each other I thought, “Oh my God! It’s like two furbies talking to each other!” If you don’t know, the furby was the first mass-produced consumer-end robot toy. They speak Furbish and English and appear to engage humans, pets, or each other in conversation, but they lack speech recognition. They react to sound, light, and motion, and will wait for silence before responding. They don’t really communicate.

Now, I often have this reaction to other people’s conversations. People discuss the merits of ideas which they don’t quite understand. They argue when they actually agree or think they agree when they don’t. It’s bizarre. Sometimes, I’m in the circle, but I’m not involved because there’s just nowhere to put myself. To enter the conversation, I must first explain the idea as if they had never heard of it. I must clear a path before I can proceed. It’s usually not worth it. I just spectate. I took the name Unfrozen Caveman form the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, a SNL skit performed by the late and great Phil Hartman. “Your world frightens and confuses me” is a quote from that skit, but it’s also a reference to how the furbies make me feel like alien.