Compliments

30 10 2010

-You have great eyes.
-Thanks! Everyone says that!
-Probably because it’s true. They stand out, you know.
-Yeah…
-Actually they’re quite awful and everyone says they’re nice because lies make the best compliments
-REALLY!?! (with a face that says ,”Oh no, are you serious?”)
-No, they’re actually fantastic.

I don’t know that lies are actually the best compliments, but that sounds about right, doesn’t it? Have you ever heard a girl say to another, “Oh my God! I love your hair!” and thought, “Really? There’s no way her hair looks better now than it did before she paid someone lunatic to butcher it like that.” These compliments come out automatically. The first girl doesn’t think about what she should say, she just knows that the other girl “needs” to feel good about the change she made, and the worse the change the greater the need. The second girl might understand that this is just a lie to make her feel good, but she doesn’t care because it still works. The intent is to make her feel good (positive) and not to deceive (negative). This is very alien to me and probably most males.

It’s a bit different when the lie-compliment comes from a heterosexual male because the intent is suspect, but I’ve witnessed success with this. However, I couldn’t lie about shit like this to save my life. I wander through life making factual statements that are either interpreted as compliments, insults, or confusion. This might not be the most effective game, but it’s a happy way to experience life, and it can work quite well if you handle the responses well, as above.

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3 responses

30 10 2010
graceandtheserpent

(From one of my blogs… very common conversations between women, which is why I never ask their opinion… or anyones, for that matter)
“You look great in that.”
“Really? I don’t think so”
“Well, you do, you should buy it and wear it on your date tonight.”
“No, I really don’t look good in this. It’s okay that I don’t, my self-esteem isn’t upside down about it. I just don’t look good in this.”
“Well… you do. No matter what, you look great in everything, you pretty little ray of sunshine, you. If he doesn’t like it then he just can’t accept you for who you are, and you don’t need that. A man should love you no matter how bad you look. Not to say you look bad! Because you don’t. You’re beautiful. I love you. Hey, let’s go get some ice cream.”

31 10 2010
Linkage is Good for You: Halloween Edition

[…] Unfrozen Caveman – “Compliments” […]

7 12 2010
Wii Gamer

Yes – I’ve noticed similar things being said by women – it’s odd but women seem to accept it – and not see it as the “feel-good” ploy it really is! I suppose it’s a sort of compliment they give each other – but males, in my experience, don’t tend to be so mysterious and deep with their communication!

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