I quit wiping my ass about six months ago, at home anyway. I guess I still wipe when I have to shit away from home, but I never do anymore when I’m home. I got this dog a while back and trained him to lick my ass after I shit. It doesn’t irritate my anus like toilet paper, it’s cleaner than ever, and every once in a while I have surprise orgasm! I didn’t really train him to do this. I mean, it wasn’t exactly my idea. See, when I first got him, he would never leave my side and would annoying try to follow me into the bathroom. I was in a hurry to shit one time and didn’t have time to kick him out before I shut the door. While I sat on the toilet, I was playing an online game on my phone as I tend to do. When I stood up to wipe, I finished my turn and right as I set my phone down he started licking. I swatted him away wiped my ass with toilet paper like a normal person but there was nothing left to get. Now, I don’t know if it’s from using shitty (haha) toilet paper, eating too much spicy food, or just being a major pussy, but every now and then my asshole gets really irritated and when this happens I absolutely dread wiping my ass. So, the next time this happened I called Steven (my dog) into the bathroom, and just like he did before, he wiped my asshole clean in about two seconds. After a few more times it felt totally normal to do this and now I don’t think too much about it. The first orgasm didn’t happen for about two months after I started doing this, and it wasn’t really an orgasm-orgasm, more like a mini-orgasm that some women have some times. I don’t cum or anything. It’s very sharp and very brief. I don’t consider this beastiality because neither I nor Steven are doing this for sexual gratification.
I thought of another shitty story when I woke up this morning, but I can’t remember it now 😦