Read this, please

9 09 2009

Several days ago, Roissy posted a bunch of excerpts from a forum for women who correspond with, fall in love with,  and marry prison inmates, guys on death row and such. It’s a rather long post, and it’s really quite amazing. Everyone should see this. It’s one thing to read about this sort of thing, but quite another to read their actual words. It’s all a bit scary and depressing.

If you think women aren’t crazy, read it. I know that it’s a minority of women that actually do this, but this fits in well with the trends that we notice. Women go for jerks, the unavailable, assholes, criminals, and when they lack any sense at all, cold-blooded murderers.

Why do most men not want to date a full figured woman?

22 08 2009

Lately, I’ve seen several threads on OKCupid’s forums asking why fat girls get little attention from guys. In each case, the original poster seems delusional about what’s going on and is looking for others to help them maintain their illusions.

In a thread titled “Why do most men not want to date a full figured woman?“, hornz102485 writes:

Why is it that men seem to be turned off when the term “full figured” is brought up? I am not lazy or a slob and yet when men see me they assume I am since I am overweight. I have tried countless diets and exercise to lose some weight, but nothing seems to help. I don’t need anyone commenting and being rude. I just want to know why men look and turn away. I am attractive and have alot to offer.

First, full-figured is a euphemism for fat and if men are turned off by the term, it’s because they know what it really means. Men are not turned on or off by words. Most of us are attracted to women and for many, that just doesn’t include fat women. We really don’t give a shit about why you’re fat or how hard you’ve tried not to be. It doesn’t matter. What matters is whether or not your appearance gives us wood. When Hornz says she doesn’t want anyone being rude, she means that she doesn’t want anyone being honest. Her insisting that she’s attractive certainly does not make it so.

If you look at her profile, you’ll see that in addition to looking somewhat like an ogre, this young woman has 1 kid, makes less than $30,000/year, dreams of meeting her prince, and can’t quite count to six.

iamjareth responds:

According to the poll in the other thread, most men DO prefer full-figured women. And so far on this one as well. Maybe they just won’t admit it. Or maybe as others have noted, it’s something else. Regardless of the “imperfection” in a man or woman, the imperfection is rarely the problem so much as having a hang up about it.

If any poll shows men preferring full-figured women, I guarantee most of the respondents were imagining actual full-figured women like Marylin Monroe or Laetitia Casta, not big tubs of goo. Either that or they’re full of shit. Then he has to lie to her about people (as if attraction works the same for men and women) having hang-ups. “No ma’am, it’s not that your body repulses me. It’s just that I have a hang-up about repulsive bodies.” Whatever.

geekadmirer says:

There are men who prefer big women to thinner women so you don’t have to worry.

Is this a joke? Yes, there are chubby-chasers out there, but not nearly in sufficient numbers to satisfy the massive hordes of massive women in existence today.

After my honest response to the thread, Hornz came back with this:

Wow, some very rude ignorant a**holes out there. I don’t care how you view me. I can only be me. However, I don’t look at a big guy and get grossed out, nor do I look at a thin man like that. I don’t think that men are ugly just cuz they are heavy. I guess there are just some really shallow people out there.

What is this tit-for-tat thing she does here? You’re not grossed out by fat guys, therefore it’s a character flaw on my part if I’m grossed out by you? I get annoyed at people who ask questions only to lash out when people actually try to answer them.

AbApt24 chimes in making excuses for not digging chubby chicks:

Why is being chubby or obese unattractive? Because the impression is you don’t take care of yourself, and no matter what you say you can’t convince us otherwise. I mean it works both ways, girls don’t like fat guys either.

No, being chubby or obese is unattractive because it’s unattractive, the same way being a tree is unattractive to humans. It may work both ways to some extent, but don’t pretend it’s the same.

The thread then turns full retard with a post by myrddwn, a man in a polyamorous relationship with a rather large woman:

Most people, men included, can not overcome their cultural programing.  Right now, our society views skinny as attractive.  Look around at the intelligence of the people bashing fatties here, and you can plainly see that its the dumb, ignorant hicks that want skinny bitches.  They dont know any better.  They also want big trucks, big screen TV’s, the latest cell phone, because advertisers tell them to want that stuff, and think if they have these things, they will be cool, or happy, or something. So what if most men dont want you, chances are, you dont want them.  Superficial ‘tards anyway.

Does anything need to be said?

Moving on…

In “Why do average-full figured women get overlooked???“, sabrinalee2010 writes:

I am not overly “full figured” but I have my curves and I love them, I am a proud size 14, which if you do your research is the average healthy size for a female in the united states…I am healthy, I jog and I eat right….but what [floors] me is the guys today overlooking a size 14 or 16 woman for a girl that is a 00…why??? It’s not like a persons size makes them more or less capable of loving you. I think people today get too focused on what a girl looks like in a bikini and what the public sees as “beautiful” when a beautiful person should be someone that loves themselves and others….

First off, full-figured is a euphamism for fat, although this girl really isn’t all that big. Here again she’s looking to blame what men are attracted to on society. That, and there’s this constant need for these bigger girls to pretend that the only alternative to their heft is 5-year-meth-addict skinny. Fat women, you’re problem is not that you aren’t shaped like a runway model; it’s that you are shaped like a panda bear. There are a lot of women who resemble neither and plenty of men who find them attractive.

The responses start out fun and light-hearted until Tru24m jumps in with:

The disrespect to larger women stems from the insecure little boys who are so self concious about themselves that they don’t dare admit that they find anyone attractive who isn’t the socially accepted size zero.  For whatever reason twiggy women are held on some crazy undeserved pedistal, even when they’re actually ugly as sin.  I fail to see how ribs and pencil sharp hip bones poking out at unnatural angles is sexy, but society says it is, therefore it has to be.

Did someone ask about respect? No, the original question is about guys picking thin girls over thick girls for mating purposes. Tru24m, if you’re attracted to women that other men avoid, there’s absolutely nothing to be upset about. Clearly, you should be happy about this.


10 08 2009

OKCupid is a free dating website where I’ve had a profile for years. I quit trying to meet women on the internet a while ago, but the site is still fun for people who aren’t looking, which can be rather frustrating to the people who are, but oh well. Anyway, they have forums, and in these forums people bitch and moan about not being able to find what they want. There’s a lot of shit you see over and over again. These people are frequently immune to good advice and only want others to jump in and tell them what they want to hear to make them feel better about themselves. On top of this, a great deal of the advice people give is stupid and wrong. Fat girls ask why they get no attention and people, including dudes, reply that some girls don’t like fat girls, but there are plenty who do or some other such nonsense. Once in a while, people say something brilliant.

In a thread asking if women are really attracted to men who make them laugh, Sasy1 writes:

Hell Yeah we find funny attractive…its the first thing we notice! Right after your face, your ass and your ring finger, oh and don’t forget the whole “got a job” thing! Seriously tho… charisma is way more imprortant than making me laugh. If you can make me feel more sexy and desirable with one look you will get a lot farther than cracking jokes. That is one of the fastest ways to get in to the “friend” catagory. Dont get me wrong I’m not saying you have to be Don Juan or a dick to pick up women. We do like funny, most of us just like it when you are in to us and can have a great time with out the stand up act.

Perfect! That’s how women work, though they don’t all realize it.

OKCupid shall provide me with tons of material for this blog

Genetic Sexual Attraction

4 08 2009

When young children grow up together they become desensitized to later sexual attraction. This is called the Westermark effect after Finnish anthropologist Edvard Westermarck. This occurs whether or not the children are related. It’s why people can be as repulsed by the thought of being with their step-siblings as they are with blood relatives. When children grow up away from family members this effect never occurs and for some reason there is often an extremely powerful sexual attraction if they meet later in life as adults. It is powerful enough that many act on it knowing exactly what they are doing. This happens between siblings, half-siblings, mother and son, father and daughter, and reportedly even between members of the same sex. People destroy their own relationships, families, and careers to be with someone society doesn’t allow them to be with. In most of the stories I’ve read or heard, the sexual relationship doesn’t last, but there are some couples who insist on being together no matter the cost.

It sounds crazy, but when you hear people who’ve been through this describe what happend, you know there’s something to it. If you have about 37 minutes to spare, check out this link to a CBC radio program. Listen to part 2 and the first part of part 3.  The woman being interviewed, Aziza Sindhu, replays interviews from 2 cases.

To the best of my knowlegde, I don’t have any close relatives that I didn’t know as a child, so I don’t think I have to worry about this, but I know someone who does.

More stories:

Brother and Sister, and Lovers – ABC News

The Brother and Sister Who Fell in Love – – a sibling couple with 4 children together, determined to stay together

Forbidden Love Between Siblings – ABC News again – another couple determined to stay together

Parted-at-Birth twins ‘married’ – BBC News – These two didn’t know they were siblings when they got married. The story brings up the idea that it’s important for adopted to children to know about their birth parents so that this doesn’t happen. However, most of these relationships occur when relatives seek each other out and wouldn’t happen if this information was never available.

Cool, huh?

Hi Hope

24 07 2009

The following is a response to A message to young women by Hope. She posted a comment on Roissy’s blog, and I don’t think she really gets it. The thing I noticed about her post is that she gives a bunch of advice, commands really, to young women without any explanation as to why they should listen, let alone do as she says. I get the feeling that Hope wants girls to learn the lessons that she had to learn the hard way, but that could be a misread.

Now, I like to advise young men to avoid the military and not to get married. However, there is absolutely no talking a guy out of either of these things if he’s already made up his mind. The best I can do is scare the crap out of him. Reason will not work. Hell, that’s another piece of advice I like to give everyone – it is very difficult to change someone’s mind with reason. Sure, you can technically win a debate and perhaps persuade a third party, but almost all modern humans are immune to logic when it contradicts whatever the hell they feel like believing. Hope doesn’t even try that. She just tells people what to do. I don’t get that.

She’s telling girls to stay away from men who “play the field.”

Men will always find beautiful women attractive. But…

Is this really so regrettable? Men are attracted to attractive women and women are attracted to attractive men. How terrible is this? It seems to have served the species well once upon a time. Of course, this is unfortunate for unattractive people, but it is not a bad for women in general or men in general.

…upstanding men will take care of their women and family, and will not jeopardize their monogamous relationships for a quick fling. The trick is distinguishing between the honorable, loving and committed kind of men from the kind that only see women as sex objects.

There’s a false dilema here. It is quite possible to be upstanding and honorable without being monogamous or committed to anyone in particular. I don’t know exactly what it means to see women only as sex objects. My image of someone who sees women that way is a guy who fantasizes about women when he pleasures himself, but doesn’t seem to know how to interact with them in real life or that, like us, they’re people too. The player is less preoccupied with sex and may well enjoy interaction with the fairer sex for it’s own sake rather than as a means to an end, though not necessarily. Some, may well be sex addicts with little interest in the person they’re fucking, but I think many are more addicted to women themselves than anything else. I really take issue with the way she seperates men into the committed and the players, as if all single dudes are “playing the field”, like there something wrong with a guy who’s not in a serious relationship, never mind that the guy could have been totally committed to a woman who got bored with him and left him.

Some men base their morality on self-interest and believe that women are inherently inferior to men. They justify their views on women not with reason but with feelings sprung from their groins. Such men are opportunists. They prey on women who believe they have no personal worth outside of their physical appearance, and who will meekly submit to any man showing a bit of dominance and status.

Do not fall for them. Do not believe their lies.

Apparently, this is her description of a player. Pick-up, it seems, is necessarily some sort of immoral trickery, and to practice it is to see women as inferior. Certainly, there are ethically objectionable methods of picking up women, but the whole game is not automatically evil. God is not so cruel. At the most superficial level, pick-up is about lines, tricks, and gimmicks. Mainly it’s the skill of being attractive to women. At the deepest level, it’s almost a self-help thing – becoming a better version of yourself. The tricks are seen as a crutch.

Stay away from men who refuse to acknowledge that women have inherent worth outside of sex, who cannot see the inner beauty that exist within the tender, sweet, intelligent women who possess a great deal of personal depth.

Dear ladies, if a man only values you for sex, he’s clearly not a keeper. However, if all men only value you for sex, you’re not a keeper. Women are just as capable of being worthless as men, although the consequences are less severe. I sense some hostility toward the hot girls, as it apparently a virtue to be attracted to women who have all the positive traits that aren’t physical beauty.

She goes on, telling girls not to be slutty…

Ignore men who are so focused on outward appearances and who insist on all women putting out all the time. They mistake the world as a giant “meet them, use them and dump them” club.

Some men might want emotionless sex, but many women do not — many men do not either! Is sex important? Absolutely. But don’t settle for sex with men who just want to use you for your body.

Why not? I’m not arguing that girls ought to be sluts, but I really want to know why she thinks they shouldn’t.  What are the consequences?

She goes on telling girls to exercise and to learn how to cook clean, to not dress slutty, and to look for men who are not slutty and superficial.  Great! Wifey stuff!