We’re Different!

Some time ago I wrote Inside-out Penis about how young men expect women to be like them. I think my thoughts were on, but I didn’t express them all that well. Lately, I’ve been wasting precious minutes on OkCupid’s Dating Advice forum. One prolific poster, WhigLite, seems to take offense anytime someone posts anything that isn’t gender-neutral. He started a thread complaining about this tendency where I saw this:

WhigLite:This has to do with the ubiquity of threads of late that only address themselves to one sex, as if everyone of one sex is a lil dee dee dee (“Listen boys”) or as if someone has advice about hetero relationships that for some reason has a ton to say about guys, but absolutely nothing to help gals in their relationships.

Even when the advice is different, hardly ever is advice to guys going to have no complement.

I don’t even get the nature of the complaint here. You’re dealing with a forum where romantically frustrated people complain and ask for help. Then, other people make fun of them and try to help them, in that order. Sometimes frustrated people blame the other gender for their troubles, as if they’re not the one doing anything wrong. Knowing this and knowing that boys and girls really are different, I can’t wrap my head around how someone could be offended by gender-specific threads or demand that gender-specific advice come in complementary pairs.

Dark_N_Romantic: Actually, if one can’t discuss relationships period with both genders, should one even be trying to be in a relationship?

WhigLite: That was a big part of my point.  It’s symptomatic of seeing the other gender’s members as alien, and that perspective will impede lasting connections.  When one has that disease, s/he ought to bench herself/himself long enough to rid herself/himself of it!

First, not everyone is all that concerned with “lasting connections.” OKCupid members are allowed to specify that they’re looking for any of the following: new friends, long-term dating, short term dating, activity partners (whatever that means), long-distance penpals, and everyones favorite – casual sex. Some folks are just there for the forums. I took issue with his use of the word “disease”, but his response implies that we’re not on completely different pages, as we are.

WhigLite: I find the bigger error – at least in terms of  its prevalence here – is blowing up minor differences into huge ones, treating genders as not just slightly different but divided by a vast expanse that makes their members incomprehensible to those of the opposite camp, and then talking accordingly.  That would seem the mindset – conscious or tacit – behind increasingly directing advice at only one gender, when either (1) it applies to both (with minor alterations), or (2) it applies to one, but has an obvious complement that could be included in an expanded discussion.

The sexes are far more different than modern popular culture tells us. We are not incomprehensible to each other. It is possible for men to understand women better than most women, and I’m sure the reverse is true. Let’s look at some of the gender-specific threads on the Dating Advice Forum.

First, I see “Why do nice guys lose?” These “Nice Guy” threads are so common that they inspire tons of parodies and assloads of insults. Perhaps Whig thinks there should be “Nice People” threads, but it is well understood by many that nice girls do not have the same problems finding mates that nice guys do. It is also understood that the complement to a “Nice Guy” thread is a “Fat Girl” thread, as these are the women that do have the same sort of trouble. Maybe it would be better to title a thread “Why do nice guys and fat girls lose?”, although I don’t see much point in that. Useful advice for a nice guy is not at all helpful to a fat girl and vice versa. For the record that advice is, “Quit whining and be a man, you fucking pussy!” and “Lay off the HFCS, fatty!” Interestingly, there is much more of a consensus on the former than the latter. Fat girls are often told that being fat is perfectly fine because there are plenty of men who prefer them, which is about the most disgusting pretty lie I’ve ever seen. Anyway, I’ve addressed this before.

Next, we have “Why do guys not look at inner beauty instead of outer?” This is almost a fat girl thread, except that the poster is a gay male. Still, it pretty much fits the bill as we’re dealing with someone who’s upset with how nature works, specifically that men are attracted to physical beauty. I don’t want to speak much for the gay male population, but they certainly at least as much into looks as straight men. I’ve been propositioned by men who only had to see me to know they wanted me. My God, I wish women worked that way! The funny thing is that most of the people who responded to this post just assumed the poster was a girl. You can’t really tell from his picture. Making this thread gender-neutral would be stupid, but WhigLite actually popped in to point out stereotyping, which is apparently a bad thing.

Third, there’s a brand new honest-to-God fat girl thread. Eh. I sent her a link to French Women Don’t Get Fat.

Fourth, there’s a curious thread titled “Guys who date Homely girls.” The poster here feels that she’s better looking than the girls who are dating the guys she likes. This is interesting, because it’s an unusual complaint from a girl and because I have some experience with this . Once upon a time, I was with someone who I now consider insufficiently physically attractive, and we both got looks of disapproval from other women when out in public. It may be that this thread’s starter has a somewhat inflated self-image. She might well be described as homely.

I have more to say on this topic. Right now, I’m being out-shouted in the fat girl thread.

Feminism

fidelbogen said:

I haven’t read everything yet, but I gather from one or two remarks on this blog that you don’t think well of feminism. That is well. Feminism has many enemies now, and the well of their disaffection grows daily deeper!

I don’t really have much respect for feminism. I don’t consider it a coherent ideology, so one can’t really argue against it as if it were. Feminism isn’t a single idea or even a number of ideas; it is an emotional response to the world. Generally, it’s a feeling of unfairness. I don’t really have much to say about what’s called the first wave of feminism, or really anything before the 1960’s, except that democracy sucked before women’s suffrage and sucked even harder afterwards. Oh, and that prohibition nonsense never would’ve happened without women.

The feminism that is most significant today is the Second Wave, that began in the early 1960’s. This movement practically got everything it demanded. There were some radicals who’s absurd demands will surely never be met, but by and large, the movement was a success in terms of achieving political ends. The changes are far more significant than you might realize. Women are now expected to “do something with their lives.” If they want a family, they can do that too, but being a mother is somehow not important enough for women to feel significant, or something. If a woman wants to be a slut or a whore, she is not to be shunned or considered unworthy for marriage, at least not out loud. It is blasphemous to believe in the possibility that the minds of men and women are different, that one gender, on average, may be better at anything. The end disasterous result is that children are growing up without being raised. The nuclear family has been destroyed. Our society is doomed.

We might as well make the best of it. Don’t get married. Don’t get anyone pregnant. Leave the US if you want to raise a family.

The Least Interesting Man In The World

• In 2003 he switched from briefs to boxers. Three months later, he switched back.
• His favorite flavor is plain.
• He drives a silver 2003 Honda Accord. Beige was unavailable.
• He rarely initiates a conversation about anything, but when he does it’s usually about the weather.
• He drinks decaf with a little cream and no sugar.
• His apartment is entirely void of hot sauce.
• If you go to dinner with him, chances are good that he’ll order the same thing as you.
• He calls his mom at least once a week. She almost always ends the conversation.

“I don’t often drink beer, but when I do… oh, I guess I usually get Bud Light… or maybe… Miller Lite. I had Corona once; that was pretty good. Blah blah blah…”

What’s a Machinist?

From a computer that clearly has internet access, Snark asked me what a machinist is.

Wikipedia says,

A machinist is a person who uses machine tools to make or modify parts, primarily metal parts, a process known as machining. This is accomplished by using machine tools to cut away excess material much as a woodcarver cuts away excess wood to produce his work. In addition to metal, the parts may be made of many other kinds of materials, such as plastic or wood products. The goal of these cutting operations is to produce a part that conforms to a set of specifications, usually in the form of engineering drawings commonly known as blueprints.

If you follow the machine tools link, you’ll see a list of the machines that a machinist might operate. The big two are the Lathe and the Milling Machine (or simply mill). On a lathe, the part spins while the cutting tool does not. On a mill, the opposite occurs. CNC (Computer Numerical Control) machines are controlled by computers running programs. Mostly, these computer controllers run programs written in “G-code”, which I believe is derived from the language used to program the old NC machines, which didn’t have computer controllers. Don’t ask me how they work; I’ve never seen one. CNC lathes are officially known as turning centers and CNC mills are calling milling centers.

There are hybrid and specialized machines and there are other machines that use the same language, such as laser cutters, electron beam welders, and routers. I primarily run a CNC lathe, making aircraft parts.

If you ask “yeah, but what do you do?” I’ll fucking stab you.

Okay, mostly I do crossword puzzles, but sometimes I have to fix program errors introduced by operators who are bad at math. For whatever reason machine shops are often not afraid to put morons in front of there machines. Sometimes, I have to use trigonometry. I liked the movie “The Machinist”, but my workplace doesn’t resemble what you see in that movie at all.

Machinist porn:

Dear Asshole

From here:

DEAR ABBY: I have chosen to celebrate my children’s birthdays with family and one friend. I want my children to understand early on that birthdays are not about getting loads of gifts, but to celebrate life with family. We are invited to many parties for their friends and classmates, but I have always chosen to attend only those of our close friends.

I find it disheartening to watch children these days rip into a bunch of gifts and toss them aside without saying thank you or even commenting on the gift. It’s all about the next package and the volume.

Because of this, I’m considering no longer giving a gift but making a donation to a charity in honor of the birthday boy or girl instead. But I’m worried about the reaction I’ll get from friends. On the other hand, I feel much better about donating to a worthwhile charity instead of another toy for children who already have so much these days. Is a donation appropriate instead of a gift? — WONDERING IN BIRMINGHAM

DEAR WIB: You are one miserable cunt. A donation to charity in someone else’s honor is fucking snotty, stuck-up, and stupid thing to “give” to an adult, but to try this lame move with little kids displays a hatred for all that is fun. You say something about celebrating life, but you have to know that doing this would only confuse and disappoint these kids. It might not bother you if other people’s children don’t like you, but you’re setting your own kids up to be hated. Ask your therapist why you need to make other people miserable to to feel good about yourself. This is the kind of stuff they’ll remember at your funeral.

DEAR ABBY: “Happy Being Me in Massachusetts” (Nov. 20) is a large girl whose mother told her “heavy women are not desirable.” Well, I was a size 18/20 and weighed more than 200 pounds when I met my husband while out with mutual friends. He’s good-looking, smart, witty, affectionate and passionate. He’s everything a woman looks for in a life partner.He had never dated a plus-size woman before, but he was smitten from the moment he saw me, and pursued me from the start because he thought I have a beautiful face and a great personality. We have one child and another on the way, and he finds me as appealing now as he did the night we met.

No woman should ever “settle” for a partner, and “Happy” should not do so just because her mother thinks she’s “too heavy.” That mother is trying to pass her low self-esteem issues along to her daughter, and I hope “Happy” is savvy enough to brush it off. Big girls can be sexy, too, because there’s nothing sexier than confidence. — MICHELLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MIM: With the lone exception of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, everybody settles. Your husband certainly did. If he’s happy, good for him. However, big girls really can’t be sexy in the eyes of most men and a hot body is several orders of magnitude sexier than confidence for men. Confidence is the primary trait in attracting women, but physical appearance is primary to attracting men.

A Bong and a Leprechaun

In lieu of writing, I give you this:

What Do You Do?

I hate this question. I’m a machinist, and it seems that most people have little to no idea what that is. I tell them this, and if they think they have a clue what a machinist is they ask where I work. I say Tempe. Then, they want to know the name of the place where I work. It’s very small. Nobody’s ever heard of it, so if give the name, I have to repeat myself and insist that it’s okay if they don’t know what I’m talking about. If they don’t know what a machinist is, they want me to tell them.

I’m going to start telling people that I’m a bathroom attendant. Everyone knows what that is.

Envy

Sometimes I actually envy the apparent innate ability of women to be bisexual.

I Love the Following Things

1. Women – There is nothing more exciting in life than an attractive and interesting woman who likes me. I’m addicted. They come in a variety of colors and flavors.

2. Chipotle – I’m talking about the burrito chain, not the sauce. In fact, I don’t really like chipotle sauce, but the place that shares the name is amazing. I could live a long happy life if I could eat nothing but their burritos. I order mine like so: Barbacoa, rice, black beans, double hot, sour cream and cheese. Before Chipotle came along, the only place I ever had a burrito like this was in California and they were never quite this good. Men’s Health gives them a hard time for the size of their portions being so large. Well, fuck Men’s Health. They’re fucking stupid. This chain uses the best quality ingredients and their massive portions mean I can go many many hours before I need to eat a candy bar or some other horrible thing.

3. Lamb of God – This is probably my favorite band. They only seem to get better with time, although I wasn’t hugely familiar with them before Sacrament came out in 2006.

This is the first song I ever heard from them:

The my new favorite LoG song is Choke Sermon. There’s no video for it, but you can hear it on their myspace page. The chorus riff is fucking amazing. They’ve been criticized for making new songs that sound just like their old songs, but I think this song really got to me precisely because it reminds me of stuff I already like.

4. IceHouse – At about 18, I didn’t enjoy the taste of beer all that much, but “ice” beers went down pretty smooth. Now, I enjoy beer and Icehouse is the one cheap beer that I actually like. Sadly, the Walgreens I used to buy it from stopped carrying it.

5. Cab 281 – As a poor person who has to drink beer, I sometimes drive a taxi cab to supplement my regular income. I like driving around in former police car Crown Victorias, but they don’t always ride that well after 250,000 miles or so. Cab 281 shows 170,000, but it handles like a sports car. It’s the most impressive cab I ever drove and one of the most impressive cars I’ve ever driven, which probably isn’t saying all that much. I would happily drive this car every day.

6. The Internet – I like the internet in general, but I’m really talking about shit like this.

7. Gorjira – This is my other favorite band. They manage to tie grindcore to groove in a way that more than makes sense. Their songs get in my head like no other bands’. There are tons of metal bands out there these days, and almost nobody listens to any of them. Many are very good, but they’re mostly copies of each other. Gojira stands out. Very coherent. They manage to sound very original without being weird.

Click the video and read the comments to see how alone I’m not.

8. Carne Asada Fries – You can get these from Filiberto’s, Riva’s, and most other drive-thru burrito shops the Phoenix area, probably anywhere in the Southwestern US. It’s French fries, with a ton (ok, not a ton, but easily a pound) of Carne Asada, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and as much red hot sauce as you care for. It makes a great lunch, but it’s absolutely mind-blowing as a drunken 4th meal. Please don’t tell the queers at Men’s Health about this.

9. Mad Men – This is the best show on TV, and you’re lame for not watching it.

10. Xbox 360’s controller – Far superior to the PS3 controller.

Fucking Italians

There’s some new reality show on MTV called “Jersey Shore”, where they follow around a bunch of young spoiled “guidos” and “guidettes” who like to party or something. I don’t know. I haven’t seen and probably never will. Anyway, the show is getting heat from Italian-American organizations for promoting the negative stereotypes of Italians. Hell, the show is probably creating all new stereotypes in the minds of viewers, but ya know… IT’S NOT FICTION! Nobody wrote this shit! these are actual douchebags and sluts who probably didn’t behave much differently before assholes with cameras started following them around. Is MTV supposed to cancel the show to prevent white America from learning more a small group of slightly less white* American brats?

The girl is part of the show and MTV used this clip in a Promo for the show. That’s what really got the crybabies all angry. But, once again, it happened for real. The guy was arrested, is facing charges, and was suspended from his job, as a NYC alternative school gym teacher. HA!

From this article in the New York Post:

It’s a low-rent version of “The Sopranos,” said André DiMino, president of the Italian-America service organization, UNICO.

” ‘The Sopranos’ are at one end of the spectrum, the Mafioso, and then this is the other — bimbos and buffoons. This is how we’re being portrayed,” he said yesterday.

“It’s worse than I could have ever imagined, the lowest form of stereotyping you can ever see.”

I thought these people were stupid when they were crying about The Sopranos, as the show was modeled after the actual existing Italian American crime families that operate on the East coast. How realistic it was is hard for me to know, but now they’re crying about a show that depicts reality, and I want them to die of cancer. The word “portrayal” implies some separation from reality, like a work of fiction. Don’t fall for this idiocy; realize that they’re trying to censor real life.

Some stereotypes are true.

Actually, most of them are.

Black people like fried chicken.

White people like mayonnaise.

Indians (from India) smell.

Irish people are drunks.

Indians (from America) are worse drunks.

Asians are smart.

Jews are thrifty.

Gypsies steal shit.

Russians are morose and age rapidly. They tend to drink, but I think this is more a byproduct of their dark mood than genetic predisposition to addiction like with the above mentioned drunks.

* – For some folks, “white” refers specifically to Anglos, and Italians are sometimes seen as a minority, especially by those oh-so-many Italian-American organizations.

see also: http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/78584622.html?cmpid=15585797